On a positive note...

Sometimes it's hard to see the positive aspects of life, but I'm trying.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Ramblings...

Since Spring is now official, even if it's still way too cold for me, I thought I'd give some thoughts on life. More specifically, my life. I've never been a particularly outgoing person. It's always been very hard to open myself up to others. I suppose it's a matter of trust.

Trusting others has long been an issue for me. I learned at a very early age not to trust my parents. Those are the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally and the people you should be able to trust completely. When they're the ones abusing that trust you tend to look at the rest of the world, the ones who aren't supposed to automatically love you, with a the eyes of a skeptic.

I have a tendency to hold people at arms length until they can prove their trustworthyness to me. God help them if after I open up to them they do something, even something small, that causes me to lose my faith and trust in them. I think I probably put a huge burden on my friends and loved ones because I expect them to never fail as human beings. It's really not fair since I don't always make the right decisions myself.

I'm trying very hard to become more tolerant and understanding of others. Really, I am. I also need to learn how to forgive. Forgiveness isn't one of my strong suits. Never has been. I have realized that I must learn to be more forgiving if I expect others to forgive me when I fail.

That really is a problem since I tend not to forgive myself. I want, no, expect myself to be better then everyone else around me. In this very flawed world I have a responsibility to be what I expect others to be...perfect. Yep, that's the real problem isn't it? Perfection. How, in this world, can you trust people who aren't perfect?

I guess I need to start to accept the small imperfections in others. I'm not talking about accepting angry, hate filled, or violent people into my life, but those who are probably just trying to find their way like me. Stumbling along through this life the best way they can making an opps once in awhile with no malice intended.

I love my friends and little family. If I truly love them, I need to lighten up.

2 Comments:

  • At 7:31 PM, Blogger Xxaatm said…

    but you let 'em have it right?

     
  • At 8:04 AM, Blogger Bonnie said…

    Keith loves to say two really brilliant things (heck, he may say more than two brilliant things, but who knows) and I'll share them with you here:

    "It's not about never having bad things happen in your life. It's about the grace with which you handle those things."

    and

    "The true beauty of humanity is in its flaws."

    See my blog post here for more on that last one.

    Hmm... and didn't you post a brilliant comment on that exact post? Yup. You did! So, see, you know how to deal with all "hurts," real and perceived and otherwise.

    {{hugs}}

     

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