On a positive note...

Sometimes it's hard to see the positive aspects of life, but I'm trying.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Dealing with a mental case.

Recently my family has been having to deal with someone who thinks she needs "leverage", AKA blackmail, in order to have control over our lives. Pretty sick person if you ask me, but then I don't allow her to gain control and therefore she is really doing some bizarre things out of her frustration with my staunch resistance to her manipulations to gain "leverage".

I feel very sorry for her. She once told me her father molested her and beat her as well. Knowing her as I've come to know her over time I somehow doubt that any of that is true. Something is definately wrong with this girl's thinking IMO. We took her in, concerned with her wellbeing, and she turned around and tried to hurt our family in almost unbelievable ways.

I have learned how to spot her type so the next time I won't be quite as accepting of certain behavior early on, however; her sickness isn't going to change my nature, which is to reach out to those who need help. In the meantime my family regroups. Thank the powers that be in the universe we are a strong, loving family and she didn't change that. We know we can trust one another completely and that's what kept us from falling apart when this girl was trying so hard to divide us.

The sad part for her is that she could have become a part this loving family if she hadn't tried to gain control of all of our lives and have everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, her way. I somehow think that's why her parents didn't want her back in their lives at first. Yep, at first they refused until they saw she had no where else to go and then allowed her back for just a few weeks, offering to pay part of her rent if she'd just leave quickly.

Gotta wonder when your own parents don't want you in their home just exactly what's up with that? Perhaps it's the fact that she uses "leverage" in her attempt to control others. It's really awful when someone does that to you. You begin to feel as if you're being held hostage in your own home. It can also build up a huge amount of anger and frustration that might not have ever been if she hadn't attempted to control everything and change everyone to suit her needs. I gotta say if you need to change someone that completely then that someone isn't the right person for you and it's best just to move on.

Getting her to move on has been the hard part. She's very clingy and needy. I even found her free counseling because she is in such desperate need but she's even attempting to use that to gain control. She claims her counselor has told her to use "leverage" to get what she needs. Uh-huh, I know a couple of therapist and that's not what they tell me therapists do. Therapists are supposed to be supportive but at the same time not encourage wrong behavior. Instead they are supposed to help you learn new, more positive behavior.

I'm learning just how strong I truly am and there is no one that's going to destroy my family no matter how sick they are and how hard they try. They'd have to get past me first and that's not going to happen as long as I'm breathing. Yes, I know, be careful. I wouldn't put it past her to try and do me or my son or husband harm. That's how sick and obsessed I think she is. Anyhow, we'll get through this mess as a family and use this as a lesson learned.


  • At 2:55 PM, Blogger Susan Jones said…

    Mental cases need locks on them.
    Only some people should try to open a mental case, and it should only be done with the proper key.
    Sounds like you have put the lock on and hopefully a qualified key-holder down the road will be able to open it.
    In the meantime, its good you left the case on the corner.


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